Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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