I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
