Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
