so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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