I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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