Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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