My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
