The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I will be naked everywhere
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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