I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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