we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
