just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
