i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
