So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
