take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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