it wasn't lemon gatorade
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
