so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
