just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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