some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
