Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
handjob tips. give me some.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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