We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
