i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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