O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
