did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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