Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Moan for me like Helen Keller
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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