I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
