then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Randomize
