We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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