i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
