Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize