this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
