We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Every concussion has its silver lining
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
