Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
