We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
