If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you win again, gameday.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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