you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
