He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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