Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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