I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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