i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
