You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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