How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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