Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
