Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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