just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
