Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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