Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Let's paint friendship bongs
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
