I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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