He asked me if I "almost moaned"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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