sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
