We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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