I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
